One of those days...

I think most of us, at one point or other, in the midst of our daily toll, have pondered the meaning of life (in particular our own).

There have been good days when I managed to stay a little cheerful, upbeat and positive. Today, I couldn't find a single good reason for my existence. I searched hard inwardly and came up nothing; zilch, nil, nought, absolutely nulla...

It's not like I want to die/don't want to live anymore. I am grateful to be alive. (Though I'm not sure a zombie-ish life is much better than not being alive but at least there's still that tiny hope of things getting better if one is still alive.)

I guess I can put it down as 'one of those days'. One of those days where even though the night before you made yourself go to bed, it felt like you hadn't slept at all because during the night, your mind was busy making up dreams you don't even remember but that drained all your mental strength and gave you a headache in the morning; where you dragged yourself to a job you do not enjoy but did out of necessity, every piece of equipment you needed, especially the computers, colluded to break down; where even though you know you have friends around you, you felt as lonely as if you were stranded on an island alone; where you just want to crawl into bed and stay there for as long as you feel like.

Tomorrow will be a better day (I hope).