The months came and went...

(A draft that has been sitting around since many many moons ago...)

The months are flying by. Work's the same, ('The same shit, just different days') so I'll leave that topic as it is. (Update: One good news about work - My first first-name paper has been accepted at an 'ok' journal! Hooray!)

After dragging my ass to work for the whole month of August every single day, I finally had a little break at the end; a long weekend in France visiting a few friends I haven't seen for a while. It was so nice to see them and to see one of my favourite cities in Europe again, Paris. A little picnic with good friends along river Seine in the setting sun; a bottle of red wine, baguette, pate and good French cheese, isn't that just what life should be about? ^_^
In Poitiers, I had an incredible opportunity to be a baker's apprentice for a night in a small, traditional French bakery with a wood-fired oven. Working alongside a good friend, having him patiently showing me the ropes was worth staying up for almost 48 hours.

Then another long weekend in September with other good friends in Ireland (Dublin & Sligo). Lovely sights, good company, great food, I couldn't have asked for more (maybe it would have been nicer if it was not so cold... :p).

As I sit here thinking about the months past, I see that God has given me many blessings along the way, so many that maybe some I've overlooked and forgot to be thankful for...

At the end of September, I was given the chance to attend a small conference in Schramberg (Black Forest) in the south of Germany, not far from Tübingen where I did my Master. Even though, my boss has said he doesn't have any more funds for travelling, I was blessed with a travel award from the university of Tübingen to go there. Being back there to the lovely little city, going to church and seeing all my beloved friends again recharged my spirit in a way nothing else could have.

I was so happy to be back on familiar grounds that it made me so very sad to leave. Somehow, Italy has proven to be the toughest place I've ever lived in, with challenges and barricades in the way almost every single day. Luckily for me, I have some really good friends who provide me with the support and care I need to be able to survive so far. I don't think I would have made it through all this time without them. In particular, someone who came here for me, with me and who had spent all his energy and love in the beginning to get me to where I am. He, who still occupies that special place in my heart. He, whose absence has left a seemingly impossible-to-fill gaping hole in my life. But I feel blessed to have had him so close to me, in my life. I was stupid not to have treasured this more while I had the chance to.

In spite of my all my failures and mistakes, I continue to be showered with undeserved blessings. A couple of weeks ago, I sent an application for a conference back home in Singapore in Jan next year, not expecting to be accepted (15 spots for overseas Singaporean PhD students). But yesterday, unexpectedly, I received an email that informed me that my application has been accepted!! I get to go home to attend what I hope will be a useful and informative conference and for the Chinese New Year!!! I am elated!! So, although I am sad to have to work through the coming Christmas and New Year holidays (my boss has the knack of planning my experiments always in the festive periods), at least I can look forward to going home (though I would anyway be going home at the end of April).

My life feels like a sine curve, there're the negative curves but also the positive ones. Even though lately, I've felt more than often melancholic and alone, even when I am surrounded by friends, (and the negative curves seem to be more evident), now and then, I am reminded of the many wonderful people, things, events that I've been blessed with.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”
--- C.S. Lewis in 'The Four Loves'