I had a presentation today. And it was like living out a nightmare. :(

All of last semester, I've just used the laptop from school for my presentations, with my prepared powerpoint presentation on my thumbdrive. Today it didn't work, because I didn't realise this time round, I'd used a 2007 version (from what a classmate sent me) instead of the usual 2003 on my laptop.

And there was no way of opening it on the all of the school computers or laptop. The online file converter site only sent the converted file to my email half an hour later. So I had to present this complicated paper (full of results and diagrams I don't really understand) from the pdf file of the paper. I don't remember all that I've written in my powerpoint and was a stuttering mess. I could barely hold in my tears when I realised I couldn't open the thing I've been working on for the past 4 days!

If I'd understood the paper fully, it wouldn't have been a problem, but I didn't.

At the end of it, something that I've always known but didn't really want to admit became that bit clearer. I don't have the passion for this line. I seriously don't care why the rubrospinal and raphespinal tracts regenerate after spinal cord injury but the corticospinal tracts don't. I don't have profound questions for the professors and finally I don't have the brains for it.
I like working with my hands but I don't want to be a lab assistant all my life. I love food and cooking, but am not good enough to step into the kitchen of a restaurant. I enjoy learning languages and might have a tiny knack for listening and then trying to imitate the sounds, but am not talented. I adore travelling but this can't earn me a living. Some friends might say I am good with people but what can I do with this 'skill'?

I don't know what else I can do... I feel lost, in this huge, shadowed forest that is the world. I want to make something out of my life. I am not contented with just going along and doing stuff robotically.
All I want to do now is lie on my bed and weep. :'( But because I am a big girl (and not a crybaby), I will instead go take a shower and go for my Deutsch Kurs.