Words escape me these days. I am up to my neck in the lab; trying to finish as much as I can in the last weeks I have so I can include more results in my report. In a way, I have had my fill of research and experiments for now. The lab is starting to become a place I have to drag my feet to.
Friends ask me when we meet whether I have reached a decision; what I will be doing, where I will be going. I don't have a good, sure answer. I wish I do. As it looks now, Italy has received most of the votes (of friends) and I know that I am leaning more towards that too.
Recently, there's been a rather positive reply from a lab in Heidelberg, but nothing more discussed as yet since the person-in-charge is still waiting for a reply from my Professor (my reference) in Tuebingen.
The near future feels like a swamp, and I am trying to make my way through it, wadding along, uncertain where to step, the ground below my feet unstable, at times not holding up under my weight.
I am tired; of being a student, being away from home, having to think things through over and over, hoping I don't make a decision I will regret (as I did for my Master thesis), wondering if I actually want to go on with research, at least 3 more years of it.
Can't wait to go home, back to my family, friends, the familiar environment, Singapore.
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1 comments :
I'm eagerly waiting for your return.
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