First I should excuse myself; apologies for my whining/ranting posts today. Writing, for me is usually cathartic, that's why I write.
I can't seem to feel positive for more than an hour. I tried, believe me, I did. And failed, miserably.
I'd wanted to go for an exercise class this evening, maybe that would have helped me feel better. But because of the waiting (see aforementioned) and starting so late, it was too late to go. I came home, tried to do some exercises, finished my assigned ones and didn't feel any different. No sweat, I was not good enough, so weak compared to what I was before.
Everywhere I looked, everything I thought about just seem so hopeless.
I remember days like this before. But those were times when I had a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, a home, a family to go back to.
There's no family here but sure I have good friends here too but I'm embarrassed to just call someone up and say 'hey, I don't feel so good in my head'. I think I am at the end of this road. I want to go home, I want to see my family, talk about everyday stuff to my mum, my sis, I want to hang out with people who've known me for ages, I want hugs. :'(
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2 comments :
WHAT? So you mean I've wasted my 32mins of international call at wee hours when I am suppose to go to bed???
*huggggg*
i really do know what that feels like babe. You need to psyche yourself up i guess. Just tell urself that you can come back when this is done, and that no matter wat happens, you won't give up bcos that would mean all these months have gone to waste. it's just a rough time, but soon u'll be back here, with the ones you love, and u'll look back at this stint and be totally amazed at it. really really. *hug*
but maybe for today, u shd pack up, and go recharge, and tell urself that tomoro will be better.
also, for that ass of a phd student (rem the one i had to put up with? they're EVERYWHERE!) either tell him nicely that he's supposed to help, or ask someone else to help you first and then make sure ur supervisor knows (bcos u're so "blur" u're gonna let it out of the bag that there was no one to help you and can he refer u to someone else please?)
but yeah, stay positive, it's hard but u must for ur own sanity. and u shd write. and come on msn (i been looking for you!)
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