Just not my day

I was this close to pulling out my hairs (and sprouting vulgarities) yesterday. Was trying to print out my report (a mere 5-page one) and the (millions of!!! ok, maybe I exaggerate. But there are many of them!) tables and graphs treacherously refused to turn out properly in their respective positions. Went through printing a whole stack of them before a colleague helped me solve the problem on Word.

My mood had registered record lows this week. I wonder if it's just that I'm being overwhelmed by the pile of work I've come back to, or it's simply the time of the month. I think it's quite the former plus sentiments of struck-in-the-rut at work. I am starting to resent my job. There, I've said it. I think I was rather afraid to admit that to myself before cos' it seemed like if I said it out (or write it out, in this case), it makes it real. Before, I'd grumble about the repetitiveness of my work but I have not (yet) gone the way of thinking I really dislike it. Then I'd try to convince myself that nonetheless, it's a meaningful one. Now however, the notion that a 2-year-old (thereabouts) could probably be able to do what I do has started taking shape in my mind. I think my boss is starting to sense that and he's been trying to reassure me that the 'handler' (i.e. me) is important in the success of the test. But I also remember him saying before that both of my tests are probably not going to churn out much positive results. How encouraging! :( SIgh.

Anyhow, I'd wanted badly to post on Thursday when I got home. (Writing is cathartic for me.) But lil' sis had essays to rush so I couldn't use the laptop.

Also felt bad that I skipped my spinning class (again!) on Thurs. (Bad girl!) :( Next week, I promise to make myself go...

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When you part and walk away,
Do you turn around to catch another glimpse of the someone you've just bidded goodbye to?
A gesture that says 'I'll miss you' or 'I can't wait to see you again'.
I do.
If they're important enough.
But all too often, I've realised that most people don't.
And I might have felt disappointed.
Maybe I should learn not to look back.
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