A little more...

Something I have to remind myself of everyday. I can barely continue with this. Sit at the desk with piles of textbooks, lecture notes, review papers and memorise as much as possible.

I had the worst exam so far (the 6th) today. I studied as much as I could, but all the information ended up jumbled up in my tiny brain. Sometimes I think it's so ironical that I'm studying neuroscience when my brain's barely competent enough for me to remember what I have been mugging. I barely answered half the short-answer questions correctly and screwed up the essay question which is worth a quarter of the marks. I hope and pray that I can pass this. I'd hate to think that I have to retake the exam. Sigh...

Actually, this semester hadn't started out too bad. So far I have not been the last (a great achievement for me!) but I think this exam will do it for me. :'(
We've had a few of the results and as usual I looked for my number (matriculation) from the bottom, and for a couple of them I wasn't actually there! haha. I even got an 'A' for one of them (even though it was only a take-home exam and more than half the class got 'A'). But still, such a nice feeling. But I know for the other exams, I'd probably be right back at the bottom again. *Sigh*

I have never been good at exams. I try but never do well (only back in secondary school, was I ok but after that it's been downhill all the way). And I get really nervous the night before, my mind stays in a half-awake, barely-asleep mode the whole night. I must be just plain stupid. Can't wait for this to be over!!! It's been HORRIBLE and I'm so close to giving up!! I don't think I would ever understand why I decided to put myself through this again even though I know perfectly well that I suck at studying. *???*

I pray God would have pity on this dumb girl and let me pass everything. I really don't want to have to retake any of it. I want to be able to go for my holiday with my 'lil sis and cousin with a peace of mind.

I do thank God for the few days this month when my friends and I cooked and ate together. A Japanese friend of mine is here for 2 weeks to do some experiments and we've had dinner a few times and I learnt how to make sushi rice the right way and also tamagoyaki. I hope I'd get to try it out on my own after. Tamagoyaki looks like it requires a lot of skill! It's great that we've got closer this time round and I even call her nee-chan now cos' a couple of our friends said we are like sisters. :) She's leaving tomorrow and I went for a little shopping therapy just now (after the exam) to buy her a couple of small presents. Will look forward to seeing her tonight to give her the presents. For now I shall bring my notes to my bed and see how long I last before I fall asleep.