The peace that sometimes comes from accepting yourself

Yesterday's workday flew by. There was a lot to be done. On top of my regular chores, there were work discussions in-between and a last minute rush to finish up my presentation for our monthly meeting.

The meeting ended late (not at all unexpected) at about 630pm and around 7-ish I left the office with a few girlfriends, chattering happily on the train. They were headed for a hip-hop dance workshop and I to the gym. I was tempted to just go straight home cos' it was rather late. The night before I had also finished work late (7-ish), got to the gym late and arrived at home feeling like my stomach had collapsed on itself. I had then made a mental note to try not to do that again. However, since the approaching CNY is synonymous with tons of good food (and junk) it meant I had to clear my quota of at least 3 times this week.

Gym was unsurprisingly empty. I made it for the spinning class (there were only 4 people, excluding the instructor) and managed to get through it (barely). I recognised the instructor as one of the regulars who attends the same spinning class as me on Thurs. As I left the class and mouthed 'Thank you', he said the same and we spoke some.
After that I ran into a guy I met at Boxercise class last Thurs and exchanged some pleasantries.

It's not too busy at work today so I caught up on blogs. A friend wrote very aptly about V-day. It's one of her many entries where I find myself thinking, 'Ya, that's it, now how I wish I could have put my thoughts into words as well as that.' :) Myztika's and Si1vara's posts about being in a top school and having shitty teachers brought back memories of my time in JC. I totally understand what you girls talked about. I hated going to school back then. And deeply regretted switching to NJC after I got my results. Some of the teachers there only cared about the smart students and needless to say, I was one of those at the bottom. No one really bothered about you when you're not one of the geniuses. Those years were horrible!!! I never felt worst about myself. The only good thing that came out of being in the school was meeting my Godfather, who was the teacher in charge of counselling back then. He pulled me out of the pit I was in. It's a pity that he has since gone back to New Zealand but we still keep in touch. I hope to someday visit him. ^_^

This morning as I sat in front of my computer in the lab, an unfamiliar sensation settled. I was actually comfortable with Me. For a few rare minutes, I didn't think I was fat, ugly, silly, stupid... And it felt good. :)