Just had a long weekend. Yesterday was Assomption Day (don't ask me what it's about. All I know was it was a public holiday :p) Hence feeling a bit of 'Monday blues' on Tuesday. Had a lot of work to do today. The normal amount of work that I do together with my colleague, I had to do it alone cos' she's on vacation (*protests!* Everyone's on summer vacation! I want also!!!). So it feels like double the work. Almost didn't stop until just now. And even now I should be inputing data into Excel, not blogging...

A friend of mine works in the renovation business here and I helped him do some paint job over the long weekend. It was a little fun (I was actually looking forward to it in the beginning! haha... Oh my, what was I thinking??? O_o). But very very tiring... plus the fumes from the paint and the white spirit (they call it here what we call turpentine - spelling correct?) all in my nose... I have painted the outside of sheds and dining halls before when I went to Missouri for the summer camp but that was in the open so the fumes didn't seem so bad. Though I must say, the end product was nice to look at. heehee... My friend praised me for a job well done. I even got a nice top for it! Happy! (We were just browsing in the shops afterwards where I tried on some tops and he insisted on buying me something for helping him.) Well, now I understand how tiring his job is. Not easy definitely. And I also got to see how good he is at his work. Very nice stuff he could make out of an empty room! Maybe if I could afford it, and when I do (I hope) get my own place in the future, I could fly him over to help me renovate it! :)

And, on the note of work, don't think I've ever mentioned how sometimes, my work gives me a feeling of self-disgust. Have been a while since I felt like this. It hasn't been too bad ever since I stopped working on Arthritis. In the beginning, I would feel really bad when I see the rats/mice limping painfully or even completely unable to move because of their horribly swollen feet (bones dissolved) and when I had to do painful procedures like take blood from the rats by poking their eyes with glass pipettes and surgeries etc.
I have been working on Oncology for a while now and although I still have to kill mice and stuff, it's not as painful to work on. Until now, that is... I started 2 new experiments about 2 weeks back with new tumour cell lines (C6 & B16). One's a rat glioma and one's a mouse melanoma (with lotsa melanin). Yesterday I've found that both are very very aggressive. Just last week when I measured the tumours, they were small, expected, since it's just one week into the experiment. But yesterday, the 2nd measurement, I was completely grossed out!!! The tumours are 45 times bigger than last week!!! The mice look like they are carrying huge bombs on their sides (The cells were injected subcutaneously into their left side). I can't even begin to describe how big and ugly the tumours are on the poor little mice (they are nude mice by the way. We have to use nude mice cos' they don't have strong immune systems to overcome the cancers). The B16 tumours are a horrible black colour and are even bigger than the C6 ones. Plus they seem to cause some kind of haemorrhaging around the tumours. And the drugs we are using don't seem to have much effect on decreasing the size of the tumours.
Another experiment in the running is homing, where our drugs are tested for their abilities to stop/decrease breast cancer cells' (B02) propensity to metastasize to bone and we use a bioluminescence machine (that costs a whole whole lot!) to check for metastasis. Now we are checking for paralysis. The mice seem to move much slower than normal (they probably have bone met). I feel bad to have to inject them now.
P.S.:I hope this entry wouldn't put me in any legal liability regarding confidentiality of my work in the company... I mean, I didn't say anything confidential as one could easily find information about these stuff in journals and all, right?

A lot of times I have wondered, is this all worth it? Subjecting animals to procedures and diseases like these in the name of research? For the benefit of the human race??? So we could find some miracle cure-it-all drug? In my lifetime will I ever be part of a successful drug discovery??? Science is meant to answer questions right? Then why do I have some many questions that I don't seem to have answers to? The motives are doubtful especially in commercial pharmaceutical companies. They might be more justifiable in research institutes but there is a question of personal fame...

One time, while I was walking in the streets of Paris with a friend and my sister (when she was here), enjoying our Mac flurries, we passed by some booths where people were protesting against animal testing. We were handed pamplets and the friend had to 'helpfully' point out that my work involves animal testing. I ended up getting lectured about how bad it is. Hey, like I don't feel bad enough about it already!!!

I have many thoughts (more than second) about continuing in this line of work...